A caterpillar to a butterfly | 2016

Change

I like to begin every post with sharing the purpose of why I am writing about the topic or situation but I believe when you read this, no title is necessary. The words I will write are words of truth. The words I write today are those of change. The words I write will show the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. That caterpillar being me. 

When I look back to myself this time last year, I see the same face but I don't recognize it. I don't recognize the person I was 12 months ago. How crazy is that? It's not that i've changed the way I look, dress or present my self. Its the way my whole life has formed. 12 months ago I didn't have direction. I didn't have goals that I believe now were achievable. I had me and me, wasn't good enough. 

Changing my direction and thoughts formed me into a person that will never return to the past. In saying all this, I wasn't a bad person. I never thought of my self as a bad person but neither does a caterpillar but it changes into a butterfly. But, for what reason? Why does anyone feel the need to change? 

I believe my change happened the moment I stepped onto the plane to come here. A near 5 months ago. Why is the moment of me stepping on the plane, tapping the side and looking up so memorable to me? I remember the face of the flight staff who said good morning to me. I remember the seat I sat in. I remember feeling like my whole life had changed. I hadn't even left the country. I hadn't even left the tar mat. But, I had left my comfort. I had said goodbye. There was no turning back. 

The change didn't occur straight away. My friends now who met me when I first arrived have noticed the change. Lets be real here, moving to the other side of the world is going to change you. But, without sounding full of myself, its been for the better.

The moment I truly realized how much my life has changed is the moment I realized that no matter where I am or what I am doing, fear isn't evident. I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid of the journey I am on. I believe in myself. I know I can make the choices that need to be made to successfully get to where I need to be. I have finally accepted mistakes are going to happen, heartache is going to take place but its how I approach those moments, is what changes my outlook and what has changed my life. 

A lot of change has taken place due to the people that have come into my life with in the time of being here. Its not what I expected. I have found a foundation here. I have found stability, happiness but most of all, life friendships. When you move away from every body in your life, there is you. Thats it. You have people supporting you and your decisions but physically, you're it. 

You have to form your new beginnings. Alone.

In saying alone, I mean physically. You don't have someone physically there to hug, kiss or cry too. You've got a screen in between you and your world. Until you build your foundation, its you. If you can get through that, you can achieve the world. The feeling of achieving those days, however long it may take is worth it.

When I met my best friend here, I wasn't looking for it. I walked into a Starbucks. I walked into get a coffee and walked out with one of the most valuable persons in my life. To learn about a new person after knowing the same people for so many years. I felt comfort instantly. There is no regret or doubt in my decision to open my life to these people around me. 

There is multiple people I could name who have changed my life in a way, I would never be able to write about. All in their own ways. All in their own unique personalities. I have connections all over the world. I will never be alone. 

I will never regret the change that I have accepted in my life. I have found me. I have found a sense of belonging in a time I never expected. I found a home. It may never be my home. But its as close it can get. It may not be four walls and a roof. Its a family. 

You change your life, by changing your heart. 

I have changed my heart. I have changed my home. I have changed my direction. I have changed my beliefs. I have changed my friendships. I have changed my way of life. I have changed my whole life.  

I have no regrets. I have determination. 

I believe my life is changing because it is preparing. Preparing for a new beginning and a new path in a direction that will bring health and happiness. I believe that no matter what we do, no matter the way we think. We will change. 

Just like a caterpillar changes to a butterfly.