13.11.15
It's about 9:03pm as i am writing this and I just got off Skype with someone i miss everyday! But chatting with her, made me realize the raw emotion that has been sitting deep down and i have finally let it be free.
I can still see the day i turned away from my mum. The lead up too it all, i was really confident and i can truly say i wasn't even nervous? I was just really ready!
We were sitting down having some breakfast, watching the screen click over and my emotions were still really calm! Then i looked up and it was 9am. I looked at my mum, laurel and michaela, I smiled and said its time!
I stood up, still feeling confident and good! Then i hugged both Michaela and Laurel said my goodbyes and hugs!
BUT, then i turned to my mum. I still TODAY, can feel in my heart; the sadness. When i hugged her and was saying goodbye, it felt like someone had ripped a part of me away! i broke down in tears and i hugged my mum tighter than ever!
It was at that moment, i realized i was actually leaving. I was actually going to the other side of the outside, without MY MUM! Heartache. Everyday of my life, i have been with my mum ( besides days here and there when traveling).
Now i've been gone 64 days and yes, its gone extremely quick BUT everyday i miss my mum.
I don't really show my emotions, publicly, often but being here i've learn that its okay to say how your feeling and express that you love those around you. I am really understanding myself more and more everyday.
Its all about self control and loving/being comftorable with who you are. I have a long way to come but i know that when i achieve this, i will be more than confident to be the real me. I can't wait to see what experiences and life lessons are built into my life. There is a plan, whoever is planning it for me, i hope they see my goals and aspirations. I will defiantly work harder than ever to fight for what i want.
Codie xo
Friday 13 November 2015
Wednesday 11 November 2015
9 weeks | UPDATE
UPDATE
So far, life here has been pretty easy. I have made some lovely friends, i've adjusted with the driving and lifestyle here.
I can not believe its already over 2 months. I know that in 6 months time, i'll be freaking out because i know its time to prepare to come home! Being here i have learnt so much about myself and where i want my life to take me in the next few years.
I am already starting to think about my future goals and ambitions. I obviously want the best for myself and for my family to be proud.
Some say I should be focusing on whats going on here and around me. I am. But life doesn't stop. You know, i think to my self; the best way for me to get through any struggles or hard times and even the good times, is to think whats next. To think, if i achieve this moment, i will have so many opportunities at hand.
I have decided and will be buying the tickets for a YouTube Convention in California in June 2016 a few days after my 21st. I am beyond excited about this, i can not believe that i am evening have this opportunity! Like what?!
I believe i am settling in nicely with the kids and the area. They seem to enjoy my company and as i do with them. Life is busy and crazy but its exactly how i like it!
Life is going the way i hoped and planned it would. Yes theres things that i miss out on at home or family things but i tell myself its OKAY. Everyday is closer to proving i can do this and making my family proud.
I have a few goals I'm hoping to achieve by the time i do come home and then will continue from there.
I honestly do not know where life is going to take me or what my next step is but thats okay because i am enjoying right now and I'm loving it...
Something i am struggling with, STILL, is the time difference. This changed again and my brain can not gather everything. Its gone to a weird hour where when I'm waking up, everyones in bed ( besides morgan because she never sleeps) and then when the kids get home from school, everyones waking up which is an awkward time! So, really weekends are the best for me as i can stay up later.
BUT, in saying that, everyone is working nicely with me to make sure they know they are there and they have full understanding that I'm a world away, 15 hours behind and have no control!
Im happy.
Thats all i wanted.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support me everyday.
Love,
Codie
xoxoxo
So far, life here has been pretty easy. I have made some lovely friends, i've adjusted with the driving and lifestyle here.
I can not believe its already over 2 months. I know that in 6 months time, i'll be freaking out because i know its time to prepare to come home! Being here i have learnt so much about myself and where i want my life to take me in the next few years.
I am already starting to think about my future goals and ambitions. I obviously want the best for myself and for my family to be proud.
Some say I should be focusing on whats going on here and around me. I am. But life doesn't stop. You know, i think to my self; the best way for me to get through any struggles or hard times and even the good times, is to think whats next. To think, if i achieve this moment, i will have so many opportunities at hand.
I have decided and will be buying the tickets for a YouTube Convention in California in June 2016 a few days after my 21st. I am beyond excited about this, i can not believe that i am evening have this opportunity! Like what?!
I believe i am settling in nicely with the kids and the area. They seem to enjoy my company and as i do with them. Life is busy and crazy but its exactly how i like it!
Life is going the way i hoped and planned it would. Yes theres things that i miss out on at home or family things but i tell myself its OKAY. Everyday is closer to proving i can do this and making my family proud.
I have a few goals I'm hoping to achieve by the time i do come home and then will continue from there.
I honestly do not know where life is going to take me or what my next step is but thats okay because i am enjoying right now and I'm loving it...
Something i am struggling with, STILL, is the time difference. This changed again and my brain can not gather everything. Its gone to a weird hour where when I'm waking up, everyones in bed ( besides morgan because she never sleeps) and then when the kids get home from school, everyones waking up which is an awkward time! So, really weekends are the best for me as i can stay up later.
BUT, in saying that, everyone is working nicely with me to make sure they know they are there and they have full understanding that I'm a world away, 15 hours behind and have no control!
Im happy.
Thats all i wanted.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support me everyday.
Love,
Codie
xoxoxo
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